Roommate: Pie Talk
by shi-chan
Summary: KakaIru Iruka remembers a conversation he overheard about pies and wonders how pie would taste off Kakashi.


Warning: OOC, weirdness and sexual references. Any misspellings or wrong grammar is unintentional. I am my own beta. I could have missed some stuff.

I do not own Naruto.

**PIE TALK**

Kakashi surprised Iruka by waiting for him outside the hospital one rainy evening, a large blue umbrella tucked under his arm. Iruka wasn't expecting to find Kakashi because they didn't really plan on seeing each after his session with Ryuuken (unless it meant Iruka going home and having a couple of rounds of good sex and a sleep-cuddle later on - assuming Kakashi was in the room) and Iruka looked rather stumped (but pleased) to find Kakashi waiting for him with a look in his visible eye that reflected the smile hidden behind the dark high collared jacket.

Iruka approached Kakashi casually and they both exited the building. Kakashi unfolded the large umbrella and held it over their heads as they walked out in the cold and wet streets, boots and sneakers making light splashing noises on the asphalt. Iruka wondered where Kakashi's bike was parked and noticed that there was no signs of _any_ bike in the parking lot. He gave Kakashi a questioning look.

"You walked here?"

Kakashi nodded. "I didn't bring my bike. Wouldn't do for you to get wet and get sick, no?"

Iruka felt his cheeks color a bit. "No, it won't."

He and Kakashi barely saw each other with their tight and busy schedules. With the amount of work piling through and the rushed assignments and cramming for quizzes and presentations, Iruka rarely left his room, stack of books and papers and laptop. Kakashi himself was almost never in the room with him doing research study outside of campus or doing group works for his instructor. The short walk to the dorm felt good to Iruka because the hand holding his along with the warm shoulder brushing against his made up for everything they couldn't do together simply because of the lack of time (or that they keep missing each other).

Iruka found the act of walking in the rain and sharing a huge umbrella (that had a large print of a starry-eyed puppy on one corner - no wonder people walking past gave them strange looks) a tad bit _too_ romantic; but it wasn't unappreciated. He found himself liking the act, how Kakashi looked on ahead and held the umbrella between them, wrapping Iruka's arm around his waist and holding the tanned hand from where it was pressed against the fabric of his jeans. Iruka wasn't very picky now that they were so busy. He made himself more comfortable against Kakashi, pressing his side flush against the pale man. For a moment, the umbrella trembled in Kakashi's grip and Iruka couldn't stop the mischievous grin from coming to his face.

"Want to grab hot pie and coffee before plunging in paperwork?" Kakashi asked, looking down at him with a look that said 'please say yes because I don't want to do paperwork just yet' glowing all over his face.

"Yeah. I'd like that." Iruka said, smiling toothily. He knew that Kakashi knew that he'd never say no to pie (especially on a rainy day).

Kakashi took another direction and they ended up a few minutes later inside a small and warm cafe, tables donned with checkered table clothes and warming yellow, orange and red interiors. They sat beside the glass window that trickled with the cold rain and misted with the warmth of the cafe. Their orders didn't take long - a slice of apple pie and cream for Kakashi and blue berry pie with chocolate chips on top for Iruka. They both settled for unsweetened black coffee and ate in silence, the rain and clinks of cutlery and the patrons' quiet whispered conversation and clacking of shoes against the wooden floorboards the only sounds accompanying their quiet snack.

Iruka was lost in thought, thinking to himself just how such _good_ pie could be made and that how it'd taste, if, say, he ate it off Kakashi's chest. Or if someone ate it off him. He vaguely recalled a conversation he overheard in the library once when a bunch of giggling cheerleaders spoke in excited tones (they could barely contain their excitement as one of the girls narrated the story to the other and eventually got kicked out of the library). Iruka didn't know how goofily he was smiling down at his half finished slice of pie up until Kakashi poked him in the arm with his fork.

"What are you grinning like a fool for?" Kakashi asked, mirth all over his face.

"Oh, nothing really. The pie is really good." Iruka answered, shaking his head and taking another forkful of pie.

"Really?" Kakashi asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Eating this pie reminded me of this conversation I overheard once." Iruka explained, reaching for his cup of coffee and taking a short sip. "This girl once surprised her boyfriend on his birthday with a pie."

Kakashi blinked slowly and nodded, not really understanding. "That's fairly normal. Nothing weird about giving your lover pie or cake or whatever on their birthday, right?"

Iruka started chuckling. "No, no, I meant that _she_ _was_ the _pie_. Get it?"

_O_

Kakashi looked like he got it indeed but not the complete picture. "And this is relevant to you and this snack why?"

Iruka laughed and leaned back on his chair. "It's not. But I just remembered the conversation for some reason. I never really did figure out how she covered herself with pie and _look_ presentable at the same time. I figured though, that it must the no-bake type of pie." Iruka mused to himself. Kakashi looked like he couldn't follow. "I was also thinking how it'd feel if I ate this pie, right here," Iruka tapped his fork lightly against his plate. "Would taste like if I, say, ate it off your chest. Or thighs. Or back, for example."

The wheels in Kakashi's head were starting to turn (and were gaining too much speed) and it showed clearly on his face. "_Oh_._"_

Iruka shrugged and sipped his coffee again. "The girl apparently was wearing a pair of sexy lingerie underneath all the pie. It must have been one huge assed pie. How many packets of digestive biscuits and butter do you think it'd take to make a full body sized pie?"

Kakashi looked torn between laughing and staring at Iruka stupidly because Iruka looked fairly serious when he asked the question. "A couple, I'm sure."

Iruka smiled and motioned for Kakashi to lean over a bit on the table. "I'd like to be a pie. I'd like _you_ to be a pie." Iruka smiled, a shy teasing one that made a faint blush grace Kakashi's pale cheeks. "I'm sure I can eat all of you if you were pie, wouldn't you say?"

Kakashi leaned back in his chair, breathless. "I'll save the grand things for later. What do you say to snacking on more pie with my thigh as a plate?"

Iruka shrugged. "Extra cream?"

"Sweet or sour?" Kakashi countered with a lecherous gleam in his visible eye. Iruka couldn't stop the laugh from bubbling out of his system. "I can't turn in to a human-pie just now, but we'll see what your birthday brings hmm?"

"Surprise me." Iruka grinned, the excitement coursing through his system as Kakashi waved for the waitress.

"You know I would." Kakashi winked and turned to the waitress. "I'd like to order a whole pie, blue berry, with extra cream and chocolate chips. Take-away. And I'd like to have the check please."

A few minutes later, Kakashi and Iruka were leaving the cafe with a paper bag in hand. Iruka glanced at the bag and blinked at the content. The waitress had forgotten to include the forks and knives in her rush. "Hey, do we have forks and knives in the room?"

Kakashi turned to look down at Iruka's question, blinking. "I don't think so, why?"

"Oh, just wondering." Iruka said.

"Is there a problem, love?"

Iruka was going to exercise his jaw and hands a lot that evening - it made him grin like a child over his first fire truck. "Nope. None at all."

FIN

Notes and credits:

- Errr ... I completely forgot about Iruka's birthday and this was written in fifteen minutes. Rushed, so it's not my best, but it's a contribution. The reason I picked pie is because it's one of the few desserts one can make that doesn't really require baking and tastes good. It's creamy and I'm sure it'd taste just fine on human flesh too ... errr never mind.

- The umbrella with the puppy print was something I saw in one of the malls back in the Philippines. It was a dark blue family umbrella with a brown puppy print. Too cute. Wanted to stress on Kakashi's softer side. Credit to the manufacturer who thought of such a _cute_ design.

In any case, Happy Birthday Iruka-sensei!


End file.
